I had an intention. At least 10 days of meditation. Now, let’s be realistic. Not 24-7 meditation or even necessarily consecutive days. Just that I’d clear my calendar and make meditation a real priority. On those days, I’d have no sense of time and the limits, or pressures of a daily routine.
So I planned to spend a lot more time in a meditative state. I told myself life could wait and this would be good for me. I was ready. And yes, I am lucky enough to be able to do this. Honestly, half of the battle was giving myself permission to do it. I also wished to slow down and be even more present in my daily routine on these days.
Well… the Universe then decided to immediately help. A storm system descended… and stayed for two weeks. Strong wind and at times (temporarily) flooding rain will keep you grounded at home and unplugged from the busy outside world.
So it was dark outside and cool. It did feel like hibernation season. I immediately saw how easily I distracted… myself. Yogi’s weakness is a picnic basket, mine is the internet. Just step back, lol.
I figured I’d be greeted by silence in my longer mediations and I was to be comfortable with this. Well, I was. I was also greeted at times by unexpected and overwhelming emotions. I did receive some guidance and inspiration. I did not receive all the answers to my questions, lol. My goal was to allow what needed to surface to surface. I wasn’t expecting… yet… open to whatever came. At the end of day seven, I felt a shift. I started to laugh at myself. I am the farthest thing from a monk or yogi. What was I doing?
I didn’t need to do this yet I guess I felt I did. I wished to hold space and light for myself, for others and for a handful of struggles/challenges. I’ve learned that the spiritual journey will reveal what you are ready to see. While none of it is scary, at times truth can be humbling, sad or a kick in the ass (to you ego). Yet I got to a point where all I felt was love. All I saw was light. I realized there was nothing scary inside me. There never was… it just felt that way at times. Maybe it’s just the unknown. I seemed to make peace with the unknown.
I also realized that while I thought I was present in my daily life… I still seem to multitask. I eat, type and jump up to do something around the house almost simultaneously. It is a challenge to be fully present as you take a shower… wash dishes… read an email… have a conversation. Just try it. Don’t think of anything. Be fully immersed in the activity at hand. If you’re an overachiever, well, you will feel like you aren’t getting much done. Our mind seems to be in the past… or future. Our mind also plays defense, blocking the Divine (until it is re-trained). Hmm… why would we do this? If one isn’t present, they often miss the signs from the Universe.
So as I arose from meditation feeling like I didn’t need another day, I walked to the front door and opened it. I was immediately blinded by… the sun. Ahh, hello old friend. I haven’t see you in two weeks. Our outer world is our mirror. It’s time to shine on!