I started this post a year ago yet it fell into the draft folder/abyss. Oh there are so many topics one can write on and often some just don’t get published. Yet when I went to glance at my year-end blogging stats, I was reminded and a bit surprised to see a post I wrote some time ago on this topic ended up being #1 this year. Out of hundreds of (much more upbeat) posts/moments, lightworkers and suicide…? Wow. While some might just be doing some light reading… An honest answer though – this very much can be a real feeling/thought/step in the journey that can slowly grow, linger, come and go or sneak up out of no where… and be down right consuming/scary. So…
Even a year ago as I re-read the original post, I knew it needed another try/newer perspective as much had changed, yet… the words just didn’t flow. Like, what one thing could I (or Spirit) relay that might make the difference? And… in ways it seemed like a distant memory as Spirit/life keeps one moving forward. To new joys… and challenges – yup, and we got this. We do become Masters at whatever unfolds.
While New Year’s Eve is a time of celebration/joy/hope for many, it may not be for all. I’ve noticed holidays and certain pulses seem to trigger. When I see the original article surface in stats or feel in meditation, I do pause and send out a prayer/energy/embrace and at times include in writing. This is about us. We are a team and family. We’re all, in different times and ways reminding/playing/walking each other home. And we are now – having time here for oh so many reasons.
So if this is your personal moment/mindset/feeling… take a breath. Like just knowing that this may be normal (another breath/exhale). At times it can quickly shift – a dark night experience. Profound yet literally a night. Yet what to do when that night continues into the light?? The depth/length/intensity may vary and why one also needs to take this serious. Often this journey will bring real challenges yet Spirit doesn’t want us to stay stuck/suffer/feel alone. Yes, it may take time… and the assistance of others/asking for help/reaching out/being vulnerable… and new ways. There can be many gifts that come from choosing to live through the experience/vibration, too.
That vibration may feel like some combination of: Wanting to go home… and like, now – suicidal thoughts. An overwhelming grieving/sadness/negativity. Wanting pain or insanity to, stop. For life to make sense (again). Like it’s suppose to be easy; why/what is this…? Why this gift/knowing yet often encounter struggle? I mean we’re LIGHTWORKERS. Just feeling done/burned-out.
I can say that I’d never imagine I’d have the thought/moment… yet then I did. My personal spiritual journey has taken me to places – some I wasn’t so sure I needed to experience. Yet we walk/crawl/try. We are here for a reason. So I can also say that all of this, in time, was answered and the heavy faded/is no more. It is possible to shift and for life to feel really good again. We also soar, fly, dance and sing. Much of this journey is about experiencing extremes and coming full circle in multiple ways.
And in writing this time, I also realized why I couldn’t come to one thing to say/write to make it all better… as much as I wish I could. This is what one needs to personally discover. It has to come from (a knowing/place possibly deep) inside you… and it will. Allow… as it’s time. It can be simple… so simple like, I love you. Stay. Trust. So it can be a come to Jesus/Source/One/Higher-self moment… and in this, it does become a very sacred moment.
Over the years I’ve seen/heard of enough lightworkers who decided not to stay (or transitioned before it seemed their time). Oh this is a whole other topic – no blame/shame/pain – although it can dramatically affect the tribe. Please do build your support team and check on others often. There are no strangers and a simple gesture can make a world of difference.
So tomorrow starts a new day… and a new way… new you. You matter (and are amazing) and are meant to be here – you know this. Step by step we love and care for self… others… this beautiful planet. We experience, create, change and remember/discover. We feel often very deeply and work to align every cell of our being with love and light. It will happen… at times though this is the way.
Thank you for reading. ❤